Goodbye My Friend
by tranquilite
Summary: Based after the 5th book Harry is having nightmares of the final battle, not forgiving himself for what happened to Sirius, and not talking about it to anyone. Not even his two best friends. He wants to so badly but can’t risk their safety for a little co
1. Prologue

**Goodbye My Friend – **

**Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling, I own none of her world or characters, I am merely fan expressing a story of my own with what she has created.**

Harry/Hermione, romance, fan fiction.

Based after the 5th book; Harry is having nightmares of the final battle, not forgiving himself for what happened to Sirius, and not talking about it to anyone. Not even his two best friends. He wants to so badly but can't risk their safety for a little comfort. Will he tell them under the pressure and strain of what the prophecy said? Or will he leave his friends and stand alone. More importantly will he leave the only person he has every loved. – Author: I suck at descriptions! But please Read and Review! I need a little support to write this story, it's been hard! Thanks ;)

**Prologue.**

_Dear Journal,_

_I have finally returned to school and something has come to my realization. I know, I am sounding very daft as plenty of things have come to my realization of late. Sirius dying…no, no I won't speak about it not unless it is with them, but then I will never speak about it. I can't seem to muster the strength to think about him alone and I know that if I am with a certain person well, they will help me. But, then I just can't seem to pull myself together long enough to speak of it in front of them either. Well, what do you do when you have a close friend, a best friend who you happen to have feelings for as more then a friend? But then, what if this feeling is mere protection over the friend and all I wish to do is help them through a very difficult time ahead? What if these feelings are not more then friendship? But they feel so much more, at times I just want to hold my arms around this person and never let go, protect them from anything that will happen. And it will happen soon, I know it, we all know it. I am just dreading it, I have to protect…I just feel so lost at the moment, I feel as if the world is rested on my shoulders and I must protect all whom I love especially…NO, no, I love everyone equally. And yet, I don't know where I would be without this person's friendship and trust and loyalty. _

_I need to think more and then write._

_Sincerely,_

_H-_


	2. Chapter 1

**Goodbye My Friend – **

**Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling, I own none of her world or characters, I am merely fan expressing a story of my own with what she has created.**

**Chapter 1.**

It was raining; the black clouds swirled above the student's heads threatening them as they ran across the school grounds. Harry stopped just as he reached the shelter of the entrance hall, he turned around and watched as Ron and Hermione, holding there scarves over their heads, ran towards him.

"Hurry up! You guys are so slow…" saying the last bit slightly to himself, but loud enough for them to hear. Ron and Hermione reached the Entrance hall and shook their scarves dry in the direction of Harry who immediately took cover under his robes. It did not work overly well, as he returned with little specks of water glittering his glasses.

Hermione smirked and strode off towards the great hall for Lunch without a single word. Ron raised an eyebrow at Harry, "She doesn't think you were fair…you know, making her do all the work in Herbology and then running off the moment the bell rang."

Chuckling Harry shook his head, "Girls… I was merely teasing her and she got indignant! And you know Hermione, if I say she can't do something she sure as hell will do it and exceed beyond any one else. She earned Gryffindor 35 points in one lesson! Maybe I should tease her more often." He pondered.

Ron said, "Don't you dare! I don't know how many times I got slapped on the hand for trying to help, I'm bruised Harry! My body can't take this type of abuse!" with that and a dramatic wave of his hand Ron followed Hermione's steps into the Great Hall.

Harry sighed heavily. They were 5 weeks into their 6th year, Harry had dropped several subjects (Divination on the top of that list), and was only studying subjects that would allow him to become an Auror as that was so far the only career that interested him. He and Ron therefore had many free periods due to lack of classes, but nothing close to lack of homework. At first Ron had this big idea that he and Harry would be lazing around in the Common room in the big puffy chair beside the fire, while Hermione went to class after class. Well, how wrong he was. After the 2nd week of classes the homework started to pile up, and now with every free period, you would find Ron and him sitting either in the library or in the common room with Hermione by their side helping them through many piles of notes, papers, and books. Although, however much Ron complained and Hermione nagged Harry was very content with this schedule. It gave him little time to dwell over what was really bothering – well, more consuming - him, the Prophecy, Voldemort, and Sirius.

Harry took a deep breath, not realizing that he had stopped breathing in the first place. He had not spoken to Ron or Hermione about the prophecy, and intended not too. Especially not Hermione, he did not want her worrying, and he needed to handle this on his own, he needed to show he was strong.

_Not that facing Voldemort three times in his life, and at least one more time to come doesn't show bravery. _Harry shook this thought away. Enough of dark thoughts, he had enough of that in his nightmares.

"Harry? Are you coming to lunch? You need to eat something."

Harry started, turned around and felt his breath caught in his throat. He coughed, and then looked at who had spoken in the eyes. A caring light sparkled through the chocolate brown that engulfed him, he sighed.

"Sorry, yes…eh…just got …um too involved with my thoughts."

Hermione smiled, walked forward and began to tug at Harry's arm. He grinned at her before resisting to her pull and walking along side her towards the Great Hall; it wasn't until he noticed various students staring at them that he realized Hermione still had a light hold of his arm. He patted her gently on the hand which was laid delicately on his arm with his other hand and winked at her as she looked up.

A small blush crept across her cheeks; she pulled her hand away and strode in front of him as if nothing happened. He knew she had only left it there out of friendship, but all the same he could not help smiling at her embarrassment.

Ron raised an eyebrow at the state of his two friends, but shrugged before going back to shoveling food down his mouth. Hermione gave Ron a slightly disgusted look before sitting down in front of her half empty plate and begin to eat again.

"Why are you eating so fast?"

Ron looked up at Harry, shrugged and began eating again.

"Ron, we have 2 periods free after this…you do realize that right?"

Harry placed a couple beef pies on his plate and looked around for the gravy, he was not in the mood for eating, had not been for awhile. But knew that if he did not eat Hermione would bug him and he couldn't handle that at the moment.

"I want to get started on my homework is all"

Now Hermione joined in on the conversation, "When on earth have you EVER wanted to get started on your homework?" pouring gravy over his food Harry nodded in agreement.

Ron swallowed a last mouthful of food, shrugged again, "No reason. Harry, I'll see you in the common room later." And with a small wave ran off out of the great hall.

"Well, that was extremely odd"

Harry shrugged.

Hermione rolled her eyes, "Jesus, is that all the comment you can make! Your best friend just ditched you to go do homework, since when has that happened!"

Honestly, Harry would prefer to be sitting here with Hermione alone…_don't think like that, she's your friend nothing more, you don't want to ruin anything you have gained with her and you especially do not want to put her in harms way of any evil dark lords…I really need to stop thinking about that lightly._

"I just…he's been doing that a lot lately."

Hermione put down her fork and poked Harry in the arm.

"Ouch! What was that for!" Harry faked cringed, but Hermione new he was joking as a small grin had crept across his face.

"A lot lately? Common Harry! Since when have has Ron EVER gone off like that, I don't care what you say but I think something is up." She crossed her arms over her chest and gave a determined stare in the direction Ron and left in.

Harry raised his eyebrows, "Well, honestly I have better things to worry about but if you INSIST I may ask him what's up." Pushing his untouched plate away from him he stood up and grabbed his bag.

Eyes bright, Hermione licked her lips. "Thanks, just curiosity is all." Then, her expression changed quiet suddenly, "It's just nice to worry about something normal for once, something a 16 year old girl should worry about. Homework and what her best friends are up too, not all this…" she swallowed the lump that had gathered in her throat, "all this…worrying about you and…and…"

Harry placed his bag down and leaned forward before she could continue, embracing Hermione in a comforting hug. Wrapping his arms around her small waist he felt her arms creep around his shoulders. She sniffled slightly, then without warning pulled away quiet suddenly.

"I'm sorry, it's…" and she again quiet suddenly jumped up, grabbed her book bag, and rushed out of the Great Hall.

Harry stood there a moment, he was thinking again. About protecting his friends, this is the first sign of frailty Hermione has shown about the situation surrounding them, and he could not let it happen again, not only from himself but from Lord Voldemort. But that would be depriving him from his only family, from the only people he has ever loved, and the only people he had ever been happy with, truly happy with. He really needed to stop thinking so much. Picking up his bag he traced Hermione's steps out of the Great Hall and towards the Gryffindor common room to start on yet another pile of homework.

**Authors Note: What do you think? Should I continue? I know I will I just hope you will all enjoy and follow! R/R please.** **– tranquilite. x**


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